Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Homicide Hurricane Grief Chart/Another Parents of Murdered Children meeting missed

A few days ago I posted my Homicide Hurricane Grief Chart. Since I posted it, I realize I omitted quite a few emotions from the equation.

I feel isolated in the eye, as I said before. But what's truly horrific and appalling is how frightened and terrified I feel.

I'm frightenend and terrified because I don't think me and my family will ever get out of that eye. And worse I don't believe the storm will ever pass or end.

I'm hurt, angry, terrified, frightened, panic stricken, and quite simply overwhelmed and out of control.

Homicide grief is hell. There at no doubt about it.

I missed another POMC meeting tonight. I was supposed to watch the boys. I missed that too. I have no control over my life.

People say I should have control over at least my thoughts and feelings. Hah! Not when you numb.

One of the ladies who belongs to the group has a "life is crap" shirt. I want one.

1 comment:

crystal said...

i know what you mean. i always feel like i'll never get control of myself or life, and i too feel devasted and terrified. i am thinking of you. love, crystal.