This is excellent

I got this off the "This Is War ~ Grief" website I linked over with my links. Geez, it's exactly what we're going through. I can pretty much check off having felt every single issue listed.



issues unique to survivors


- Isolation, helplessness in a world that is seen as hostile and uncaring, and that frequently blames the victim;

- Feelings of guilt for not having protected the victim;

- The memory of a mutilated body at the morgue, how much did my loved one suffer?

- Getting back the personal belongings of a murder victim;

- Sensational and/or inaccurate media coverage;

- Lack of information;

- Seemingly endless grief;

- Loss of ability to function on the job, at home or in school, etc.;

- The strain on marriages (frequently resulting in divorce);

- Strain on family relationships;

- Effects on health, faith and values;

- Effects on other family members, children, friends, co-workers, etc.;

- Indifference of the community, including professionals, to the plight of survivors;

- Society's attitude regarding murder as a form of entertainment;

- Financial burden of medical and funeral expenses;

- Medical expenses for stress related illnesses;

- Professional counseling for surviving family members;

- Financial burden of hiring private investigators, etc.;

- Public sympathy for murderers;

- The feeling that the murderer, if found, gets all the help;

- Survivors of homicide victims have few rights;

- Outrage about the leniency of the murderer's sentence;

- Disparities in the judicial system (frequently punishments for property crimes are as great or greater than the crime of taking a human life);

- Anger over a plea bargain arrangement/agreement;

- Frustration at not being allowed inside the courtroom at the time of trial;

- Unanswered questions about the crime. What happened?

- Unanswered questions about postponements and continuous delays throughout the trial;

- Bitterness and loss of faith in the American criminal justice system;

- After conviction, the long appeals process begins; and

- Constantly reliving your story through the dreaded parole process.

© 1995, National Organization of Parents of Murdered Children, Inc